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Resources

How to develop a living will

CHECK VALUES -- Questions to ask before writing an advance directive:

  • What makes your life worth living?
  • Who would you trust to make your health care decisions if you couldn't speak for yourself?
  • What would be important to you if you were dying?
  • Where would you prefer to be if you were unable to care for yourself at the end of your life Ä at home, in a hospital, in a nursing home?
  • Should medical technology be used to keep you alive as long as possible? Would your answer change if you were older or had a terminal condition?

MAKE PLANS -- Things to do before writing an advance directive:
  • Get information. Talk to your doctor, pastor, lawyer or another trusted adviser.
  • Discuss your life goals and values with those you love. Discuss your health care options with your doctor.
  • Make choices. And make sure your loved ones, representative (surrogate or proxy) and your doctor understand them.
  • Record. Make sure your advance directive is written clearly and meets requirements in your state. Provide your doctor a copy for your medical chart. Send a copy to your hospital. Give copies to your surrogate, if you have one, and to close family members.

(Adapted from the Missoula Demonstration Project)

Where to go

READING RESOURCES -- A sampling of books and pamphlets:

  • Affairs in Order: A Complete Resource Guide to Death and Dying, by Patricia Anderson, Macmillan Publishing Co., 1991.
  • After Great Pain: A New Life Emerges, by Diane Cole, Summit Books, 1992.
  • Being a Widow, by Lynn Caine, Viking Penguin, 1990.
  • Beyond Widowhood: From Bereavement to Emergence and Hope, by Robert C. DiGuilio, The Free Press, a division of Macmillan Inc., 1989.
  • Caring for Your Own Dead: The Final Act of Love, by Lisa Carlson, Upper Access Publishers, Hinesburg, Vt., 1987.
  • Conversations at Midnight: Coming to Terms with Death and Dying, by Herbert Kramer and Kay Kramer, Avon, 1994.
  • Creating Your Own Funeral Or Memorial Service: A Workbook, by Stephanie West Allen, KiteShade Publishing, 1998.
  • The Courage to Grieve: Creative Living, Recovery and Growth Through Grief, by Judy Tatelbaum, Harper Collins, 1984.
  • Dealing With Death: A Manual of Death Education and Simple Burial, by Ernest Morgan, Burnsville, Celo Press, Burnsville, N.C., 1988.
  • Death: The Final Stage of Growth, by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Simon & Schuster, 1997.
  • Dying Well: Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life, by Ira Byock, Riverhead Books, 1997.
  • Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs and Communications of the Dying, by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, Bantam Books, 1992.
  • A Good Death: Taking More Control at the End of Your Life, Choice in Dying, by T. Patrick Hill and David Shirley, Perseus Press, 1992.
  • The Good Death: The New American Search to Reshape the End of Life, by Marilyn Webb, Bantam Books, 1997.
  • Grief, Dying, and Death: Clinical Interventions for Caregivers, by Therese A. Rando, Research Press Co., 1984.
  • Grieving: How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies. by Therese A. Rando, Bantam Books, 1991.
  • Hard Choices for Loving People, by Hank Dunn, Chaplain, Fairfax Nursing Center, Fairfax, Va., 1996, A&A Publishers Inc., P.O. Box 1098, Herndon, VA 22070.
  • Hospice and Palliative Care: Questions and Answers, by Virginia Sendor and Patrice O'Connor, Scarecrow Press, 1997.
  • The Hospice Choice: In Pursuit of a Peaceful Death, by Marcia Lattanzi-Licht with John J. Mahoney and Galen W. Miller, Fireside, 1998.
  • Caregiving: Hospice-Proven Techniques for Healing Body and Soul, by Douglas Smith, Macmillan General Reference, 1997.
  • I Never Know What to Say: How to Help Your Family and Friends Cope with Tragedy, by Nina Herrmann Donnelly, Ballantine, 1990.
  • Last Wishes: A Handbook to Guide Your Survivors, by Lucinda Page Knox, M.S.W. and Michael D. Knox, PhD, Ulysses Press, Berkeley CA. 1995. Available through Applied Sciences Corp., P.O. Box 16118, Tampa, FL 33687.
  • Living with Dying: A Loving Guide for Family and Friends, by David Carroll, Paragon House, 1991.
  • Men & Grief: A Guide for Men Surviving the Death of a Loved One, by Carol Staudacher, New Harbinger Publications, Oakland, 1991.
  • A Midwife Through the Dying Process: Stories of Healing & Hard Choices at the End of Life, by Dr. Timothy Quill, Johns Hopkins University Press, 1996.
  • Necessary Losses, by Judith Viorst, Ballantine Books, New York, reissued 1996.
  • On Death and Dying, by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Macmillan, 1991.
  • Last Touch: Preparing for a Parent's Death, by Marilyn R. Becker, New Harbinger Publications, Oakland, 1992.
  • Personal Thoughts about Medical Treatment and Related Values and Views: Helping Your Agent Help You, Healthcare and Elder Law Programs Corporation, 1997.
  • Recovering from the Loss of a Sibling, by Katherine Fair Donnelly, Dodd, Mead and Co., 1988.
  • The Rights of the Dying: A Companion for Life's Final Moments, by David Kessler, Harper Collins, 1997.
  • Self-Help Source Book: Your Guide to Community & Online Support Groups, by Barbara J. White and Edward J. Madara, Northwest Covenant Medical Center Riverside, Denville, N.J., 1998
  • Seven Choices: Taking the Steps to New Life After Losing Someone You Love, by Elizabeth Harper Neeld, Crown Publishing Group, 1990.
  • Seven Steps to Effective Parent Care: A Planning and Action Guide for Adult Children with Aging Parents, by Donna Cohen and Carl Eisdorfer, A Jeremy P. Tarcher Book/Putnam Book, 1993.
  • Surviving Death: A Practical Guide to Caring for the Dying and Bereaved, by Charles Meyer, Twenty-Third Publications, 1991.
  • Taking Steps to Plan for Critical Health Care Decisions, Vermont Ethics Network, Drawer 20, Montpelier, VT 05620-3601. 1995. Phone: 802-828-2909.
  • Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child, by Earl A. Grollman, Beacon Press, Boston, 1991.
  • Values History Form, from Health Sciences Ethics Program, University of New Mexico, Nursing/Pharmacy Building, Room 368, Albuquerque, NM 87131. Phone: 505-277-0903.
  • When a Parent is Very Sick, by Eda LeShan, The Atlantic Monthly Press, New York, 1986.
  • When Someone You Love is Dying, by Norma S. Upson, Simon and Schuster, New York, 1986.
  • The Widow's Handbook: A Guide for Living, by Charlotte Foehner and Carol Cozart, Fulcrum Publishing, Golden, Colo., 1988.

ORGANIZATIONS -- Some of the groups interested in last rights issues: